memepatheias | HOT OR NOT MEME

Two. Perhaps you would be more attractive were you to be more the man you have potential to be.

[ It's only fair. And she can be pretty brutal when she wants to be. ]

Yet you're bangin' Nanu.

[Sorry Nanu, you're just small and cranky. Not exactly the go-to exemplary of manhood.]

Dunno if I can really take your standard for gospel of what a man should be.

Our relationship is still none of your concern and I have no commentary on how you may or may not value my standards. No one said this was objective, after all.

[ Every time Nanu holds a Meowth or feeds an animal or pokemon that isn't his, his manliness scale tips off the charts.

You buffoon. ]

If you knew anything at all about women, perhaps you'd know personality is a large portion of how attractive a man can be. If anything your response detracts points.

Oh don't worry, I ain't at all concerned about your relationship.

[Maybe if Anabel ever got to see Guzma dote on his bugs, she'd get a better picture of him. But nope. She's only ever treated to him making an ass of himself.]

Lusamine and Plumeria seem to like me well enough, so I'd say you ain't as credited in this topic as you might think.

[He doesn't really want to think about the former, but in this instance it certainly works for him.]

Yes, yes. I know you are not despite your intense focus on it that has spanned nearly a year's time.

[ Maybe a little bit, but he's still been acting a turd toward her and Nanu. And she knows Nanu's been good to him and Team Skull, so she naturally thinks even more lowly of him. ]

Good for them. I imagine you do not harass them and insult them multiple times with every conversation you engage in with them? [ There's actually a hint of something nearly upset to it, like she's a problem and there's something wrong with her that he can't treat her nicely too. 8( ] As I've said, it's... subjective.

Concerned just ain't the right word, is all.

[To be fair, banter and shit-talking is just the way it goes. Nanu seems to get it, so why can't Anabel??]

Yeah, 'cos they don't act all uptight about shit that shouldn't matter. Maybe if you learned to relax and chill, we could be cool.

[Oh sweet Anabel, you're fine. It's Guzma who's the problem here.]

You just don't get me, but that's life.

Sorry, then I will continue to use "intense focus". Or, would you rather I use "infatuation"?

[ Because it's really shitty!! Teasing is all fun and good, but he's just being a jerk. ]

What matters is also subjective. This may surprise you, but my relationship with Nanu is incredibly important to me and it bothers me that you insist on these conversations and assumptions rather than actually knowing me. [ He sure is. ] And yet it's taken this long to come to that conclusion and still not adjust your behavior.

Nah it's more like—infatuation?

[Excuse you, Anabel, that implies shit he does not like. He is amused by the two of them, not infatuated. That just gives him a mental image he never thought he'd have, and never wanted. The scrunch of his face is telling enough.]

Maybe if you weren't so easy to rile all the damn time, I'd be less inclined to play with you.

[ Well, the focus is a little intense. It's like 80% of what they talk about. It's his own fault, really. ]

Mmm, yes. If that's the majority of our conversations one is left with only a single conclusion.

[ She makes a sound to that. ]

I see, so that's what it is. You are not only infatuated by the possibility of our relationship and being involved in it somehow, but your interest lies in frustrating people.

[ Better bail now. ]

[See the key is to kill the fun. Once they actually admit it to him and others, it'll lose the fun. Alright, no it won't lose all of the fun, but he'd be less inclined to try and pull it out of them.]

Gross. I ain't into senior citizens—physically or mentally. Don't twist this beyond recognition, yo.

[Now he can't stop thinking about it. Gross gross gross!! But wait, there's an opening here.]

But. Y'know, there's a better way to invite me for a threesome, but this ain't it.

You are well aware that both he and I are not that much older than you are.

[ Guzma will probably be the first to find out, somehow. That flower festival is coming up, after all... ]

Beyond recognition and attempting to pin this on me? It's not something I've ever brought up. In fact, I try to discuss other things and for whatever reason you are so fixated on our relationship you always bring it up -- again and again and again. Different conversations, same conversations. And you're doing it now when I've certainly not suggested any attraction to either of you in any sense.

[ Let it go, Guzma. You aren't gonna get to be in a Nanubel sandwich. ]

Pfft—HAHAHA!!

[Yeah, that actually gets a belly laugh out of him.]

Are you kiddin' me? Nanu's at least 50.

[How rude. But honestly, with his fixation and determination, it's basically his right to find out first!]

Hey, you're the one who tried to imply some infatuation on my end, when it ain't like that. You're the one who made this weird, so clearly you got ulterior motives, not me.

[He is perfectly fine with this, thank you very much. Besides, that'd be one very poorly made sandwich, the two pieces of bread are way too short for the meaty center.]

[ She doesn't seem impressed. In fact, she looks almost like she didn't hear him, looking to the side and humming like she's bored to death. ]

Not at all. I am making an educated guess based on your behavior. As I've said prior, I don't bring up Nanu or our relationship at all and you continually do. To an extent that you're denying it and suggesting I do it. It would be cute, your little crush, but you're much too old to be swooning like a teen over some celebrity.

[ Is he really. IS HE REALLY ]

Don't flatter yourself, it ain't you two I got a crush on.

[wait]

—rather, it wouldn't be you two I'd have a crush on, if I did.

[He always pays for speaking faster than he thinks.]

I'm not flattered by it. You're not physically attractive to me. [ She says it quite directly in such a way that she's not intended to be rude or hurt his feelings. It's more like saying she doesn't like certain toppings on pizza. ] I do wish you luck with your, ah, crush, however.

Even if you are... [ She makes a vague gesture. ] Like this.

[ Maybe it'll have him back off a bit? ]

Ain't that a relief.

[It's ok, it's not like he wants her to be attracted to him, so it doesn't hurt his feelings at all.]

Like what? You gestured to all of me, yo.

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