ihateflying: (64)
Obi-Wan (Ben) Kenobi ([personal profile] ihateflying) wrote in [community profile] memepatheias 2020-01-01 02:32 am (UTC)

[ Obi-Wan has grown, though of course he doesn't recognize it.

He can't, at least yet, accept the fall of the Jedi, or role he played in those events. He tries, logically he does, but in reality he can't quite truly manage. He can't not look back on those events dispassionately (or simply compassionately) or without seeing every. single. thing he'd missed, and the places things could have (should have) been different.

What he has accepted, after two years on Tatooine is that there are wounds that don't heal. That they will ache, and they will bleed, and that the bleeding will stop when it stops, and that trying to staunch the flow prematurely will only lead to more pain, infection, and scarring.

Qui-Gon's death, at least, had already taught him that grief and guilt were not fatal.

He's learned to let himself bleed.

Which is what he's doing, while flowers are blooming strong at Qui-Gon's feet. He's letting emotion rise, so that it can go. The sky turns a pale gray and a strong, but straight, wind of no particular temperature blows in from his back. ]


It was a perfectly reasonable request. What you shouldn't have done was get killed.

[ The straight wind isn't damaging, only strong. It's stronger around being called Padwan, and stronger still when he remembers Qui-Gon's death.

There's nothing damaging about it until he realizes it's directly connected to his emotions. He's already got guilt, grief, remorse, and melancholy love swirling around within him. The realization that he is truly, physically, affecting the environment adds confusion, and fear. It seems to heighten everything he's already feeling.

At that point the sky turns from featureless gray to threatening steel, the temperature plummets, and the wind seems to be coming from every direction at once, blowing stinging grains of frozen now into them.

With that bit of validation of what's happening, but no understanding of it he does what an entirely reasonable Master Jedi would do.

He panics as he has not in many, many years. He tries to get away from Qui-Gon, and shut his emotions down entirely while the temperature continues to drop and the sky continues to darken.]

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