[It is sometimes like a slap to his face, when he overthinks about it.]

It's not too bad...I got a spa and even if friends come and go, it's not a bad place to make a living despite all the craziness...besides uh...when I get home it's not like I'll be around anyway. Technically, anyway.

[It had taken him close to three years to be able to speak this a little more freely about that information.]